Tuesday, February 5, 2013


This blog is in response to the Proverbs 31 Bible study that Melissa Taylor is leading, on Karen Ehman’s book titled, “Let. It. Go.”

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
~ Colossians
3:23 NIV

I grew up trying to be a “people pleaser.”
For my dad, it didn’t seem to make much difference how good my grades were in school, I could still “always do better.”
From my older brother I constantly received ridicule, so I was always striving to be his friend; which only led me into more hurtful ridicule from him.
My mom….well, my mom needed me to be the head of the family…the family being her and I…once the divorce had taken place. One huge problem remained; I was not quite ten years old at the time.
Yet, I continued to try to please, although I was never to be successful.

In time, I came to be angry that I never seemed to measure up to the standards put on me by others.
I soon rebelled and grew up troubled and…well, lets just say, “messed up.”
That caused me a lot of problems…for a lot of years.

I had spent my life trying to live up to others expectations of me. No matter what I did, I would always be viewed as wrong in someone’s eyes.

The problem, or should I say, one problem with being a people pleaser is, you will never please everyone.

By the time I came to know the Lord, I was well in control of my own life; had been for many years and not at all willing to let go.
But how was it working for me??
Very poorly.

Yet, it was still difficult to let go. It was the only way of life I had known.  
Even though I knew I must let go, I didn’t know how.
 I was so used to ‘my thoughts; my ways’
I struggled each and every day to find a new path.

Truthfully, to this day I continue to struggle.
But it is studies such as this, along with time with the Lord on a daily basis, reading Scripture and pursuing this goal to do all for the Lord…..that continue to be helpful.

Change does not take place in a day…..or a year….
And it does not come easy. It does not come without great effort.
It does not come without numerous failures.
It does not come without regrets.
It does not come without tears.

But, it does come…..

My thoughts and efforts now more than ever, are turning towards the Lord.
I find of late that I am more intent now on pleasing Him, than I have ever been, and because of that I am more willing to do whatever it takes.

I am learning to be patient….with great difficulty…yes, it is a challenge.

But, I am now on that new path.
I am working at trying to please Him.
I might be a newbie, but I am now here.

I live for today…in the hopes that tomorrow I will be able to celebrate any small successes I have from today.  
And I do.

My simple motto is this:

One day at a time.

And you know something?

It works.
It absolutely works!


  1. Judi,

    Did you just step into my world. Wow my parents divorced when I was ten. I never was good enough for them. I'm still not good enough for my mom. I'm took fate, not blonde enough etc. I was a people pleaser for a long time. I also messed up big time.then I found the Lord. I also still make mistakes but we are works in progress. Thank you for a post that I can so relate to.

    1. I always embrace these special moments; the moments when someone, like yourself, can totally relate.
      Thanks so much for your comment...and know...we are good enough. God doesn't make junk. He loves us and although he doesn't want to leave us where we are, he does love us as we are. Have a blessed day.Judi

  2. Judi, as a fellow people pleaser in the past, past I know how easy it is to get sucked into trying to make everyone happy. However, that will never happen and shouldn't. The only one we need to please is God. We are working for Him. It is a difficult road to stop pleasing others, but there is hope. Thanks for sharing from your heart!

    1. That's right;we will never please everyone. But the Lord is the one we should always focus on pleasing. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Blessings on you today. Judi.

  3. Judi, I too am a people pleaser. I think we might need a PPA (people pleasers anonymous). I'm glad you are on your way to breaking free of that trap. Now I'll warn you on the next one. We people pleasers exchange that for working to try to please God not realizing He is pleased with us, just because He loves us. We can just serve Him with love for His love.

  4. The support group idea sounds good! LOL
    As for the "pleasing God" what is that old saying, "been there..done that."
    I know God loves me for who I am, but I also know he does not want to leave me that way. I do think it is important to try to please God..I mean, in my daily walk..to always be thinking; does how I treat others please God? Is what I said to so and so today...did that honor God? (please God).
    I think I know what you mean though. We don't need to "DO" in order to please God; we need to "BE." Be loving, kind, etc., the rest will take care of itself.
    Thanks for your comment and I pray you have a wonderful day! Judi.

  5. Judy,
    Thank you SO MUCH for participating in the blog hop. Praying for all of us as we learn to stop trying to control and start trusting God. Have a great weekend and remember to LET. IT. GO. :-)
    {Hugs} Karen Ehman

    1. So nice to receive a response from the author! Thanks for your prayers, Karen...and thanks for writing this book so we could all benefit! God bless you. (hugs right back at ya)

  6. Oops! I spelled your name wrong! Have a great weekend JUDI ;-)

  7. I loved this because I lived this. There's nothing like divorce to turn children (esp girls) into people pleasers--chasing perfection in an imperfect world and feeling like the one to blame for every bad moment in family relationships. I thought about blogging on this, but my Mom would read it and have a fit--so, in an ultimate act of people pleasing, I am vicariously blogging on this through you. Thank you for speaking the words in my heart.

    1. Thanks for your comment Sandi. It saddens me to know you and others suffered divorce and its effects, yet at the same time I know the Lord uses us in our circumstances to help others. He never wastes anything, does He?
      My mom has passed so I don't have to worry about her reading it, and she never went near a computer anyway.
      Regardless, I am very happy you let me know your feelings on my blog; I thank you for responding....and I pray blessings on you!

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  9. Judi,

    This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you for reading and responding. Blessings, Judi