I had an extensive history of others doubting me.
This didn’t begin from anything of my own doing, I was a mere child. It all started from the hurtful words of an angry and jealous brother. Although the younger sister, I was a much better student than my brother who was three years my senior. My brother was frequently in trouble with my dad for not applying himself in school; he would be physically punished. Because my dad would compare my grades to his, I was the target for my brother to “get even.” I took a lot of verbal and physical abuse from my brother because of this; but no one seemed to notice. Then again, my dad wasn’t at home most of the time.
In later years, the cruel words escalated and came from the mouth of an angry mother. A mother who had experienced divorce from infidelity. A mother whose son had decided to stay with his father following the divorce. I suppose she had been hurt wondering why, after all the cruelty, he would prefer to stay behind with the man who had beaten him so often, rather than to move to be with her. She must have felt rejected by both of the men in her life.
Her words cut deep; I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand why she spoke to me the way she did; why she called me those names. Why she was so angry with me all the time. Things around our house never did change. But I did. Over the years, I became the person I had so repeatedly been accused of being.
Years of repetition of those angry and hurtful words had enabled me to identify myself as such. Forty plus years later, I still often identify myself through those angry words.
Since I have come to know the Lord, those words have less power over me. But the Lord also gave me someone who believes in me, so I have the hope to better believe in myself.
This is love.
John 15:12,”This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” (NLT)
I want to encourage you today to seek out someone who needs to be believed in. Even if that person is you, reach out and be blessed.
Philippians 2:3b-4, “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (NLT)