Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Sliding Scale

“There are people out there worse off than you!”

Do these words sound familiar? Has anyone ever spoken these words to you?

I can’t recall the number of occasions I heard those words spoken harshly to me, both as a child, and as I grew into womanhood. I felt that my worries, my concerns, my letdowns, my pain…weren’t as significant as others. And it hurt.

It hurt to believe I was wrong to be so upset. It hurt to know I was not understood. It hurt to know I had no one to talk to. It hurt because I knew this was not love. So I began to shut down.

I began to live in my own world. My own small and lonely world. A place of existence where I could live out my pain and suffer in silence. It became so silent that after a number of years, I had adapted and no longer had any thoughts about my being any different from anyone else. Perhaps….I wasn’t.

Yet, I suppose now, as I look back, I can see that I was simply protecting myself. I had erected a shield around me and had determined no one would ever permeate that shield. No one would ever touch that part of me; that part that had been rejected and unloved; tossed aside without a thought, without regret. That part that still lay deep inside….and hurt like hell.

Trust is not something that comes easily to one who has been repeatedly bruised and broken. I wanted so much to trust. I wanted to share my pain; to break free from this shell I had wrapped myself in so securely. I wanted out, but now I had no idea of how to break free. I had made myself a prisoner of my own circumstances for so long, I felt trapped.

There is a little child inside of me; there is a little child inside of each of us. This child cries out for love and understanding; forgiveness and healing. This child wants someone to care; to really, honestly care.

As I look upon the imperfect picture of my own life and circumstances, I am aware that the Lord is there for me. He is loving me, comforting me, and strengthening me. The Lord has no sliding scale on my pain, just as he has no sliding scale on your pain.
If today, you are finding yourself hurting, friendless, broken, unloved; know that you are loved. You are the Lord’s beloved child.

I encourage you to ask the Lord for a trusted friend. Someone you can talk to; someone who will listen and care; really, honestly care.
As you wait, talk to Him. He is the great healer. Read his Word. His words are truth.
Listen for his response. He will speak, and his words will point you in the direction of your healing.
God bless you today!

1 comment:

  1. Judi,

    Thank you for this beautiful post. I felt the exact same way you did as a child. It's amazing what small little things that happend to you as a child creates such a big problem when we are adults. Anyways I just want to Thank you! Have a wonderful day!