Our ladies Bible study group has recently begun a new study. It is one where we are going to go deep.
You know what I mean; deep.
I don’t have to fret though, because I have already dealt with my issues.
Over the years, both professionally and in ministry recovery groups, I have done the work! I have written it down, cried it out, and shared. I have prayed and I have been healed.
As ‘they’ would say, “Been there, done that!”
This next study, with my newer Bible study group…this will be different. I will be strong because I have dealt with my issues.
Or so I had thought.
We are in the mere beginnings, just passing week three, and I have already felt the lump in my throat; the tears welling up in my eyes.
And just yesterday, while writing some responses in my lesson book, I began to see, once again, the ugliness of my past life staring back at me from the pages.
Anger, regret, and shame quickly began to work their way back into my very being. But this time, I knew better.
I stopped them in their tracks, because I know this feeling is not from God. I no longer want to allow my healing to be a playground for satan.
I still have pain to deal with, unresolved issues still burning in my soul, things the Lord still needs me to understand, to come to terms with, in order to live in peace.
I do not, however, need to succumb to the devil and his cunning ways. Each time the thought of shame, anger, or regret enter my mind I quickly resume to knowing that the purpose of this study is for my healing. My continued healing.
It is the desire of the Lord for me to be healed and to live in love and peace.
It is the desire of satan to pull me down and have me live in want and disgrace.
There is a strange beauty to healing; to the pain and the tears. When I focus on the One who made me; the One who desires to bring this healing to me, I can see this beauty.
I can smile….even laugh, through my tears. The healing is near.
I understand more.
Satan doesn’t want that to happen. Once I overcome my pain; as I overcome my pain, satan loses his grip on me. I will be one more lost to him forever. Now, that makes me smile….that makes me laugh.
I find I am not strong.
But that is okay.
The Lord works his strength through me. It is through him I find my strength.
When I am weak, he is strong.
I need the Lord to be my strength, always.
2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul reminds us: “The Lord said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
It is the power of the Lord that longs to heal us. It is His power alone that will set us free. His grace is all we need.
And when we are free in Christ……we are free indeed!!
Amen. Praise be to the Lord!